A Nailbitingly Divine Yodeller

“Oh, man is that good!”–Andy’s review of his latest culinary creation: apple slices dipped in ketchup, then dipped in parmesan cheese.

Me: Before we started getting your hair cut at Kids’ Hair, I had never heard of a hair salon where you could watch TV while you got your hair cut. They certainly never had anything like that when I was your age.

Andy: Yeah, that must have been in the olden days, before TV existed.

Hey, who’s that cute apple picker?

It’s Hobbes the tiger! Don’t call him a cat, as a few misguided adults did. (Also, did you know that Hobbes is superhero?)

Ah, a vegetable in a tiger’s favorite color!

Luckily goats are not afraid of tigers…as long as they are feeding them.

Jay and I have gotten a little lax lately regarding our policy of not letting Andy watch TV commercials. He has now started peppering his solitary-play monologues with phrases like “some assembly required” and ”includes everything you see here!”

Jay: Slugbug!

Andy: I already called that one. I called it sixteen minutes ago.

Jay: Sixteen minutes ago we were at the restaurant eating dinner.

Andy: I know, but I have really stretchy eyes. And I stretched them out of my head and aaaaaall the way to Target. And I called ’slugbug’ in my brain!

As we were in the car heading out on an errand, I commented, “Oh, look. A couch on the curb.”

Andy replied, “There must be an invisible house there.”

Now when we drive past the couch (no takers yet), he still remarks on it: “Look, there’s the invisible house.”

Andy: How many more minutes?

Me: Thirty-nine.

[Three minutes later] Andy: Now how many minutes?

Me: Thirty-six.

[Four minutes later] Andy: How many more minutes now?

Me: Thirty-two.

Andy [picking up clock]: Does this thing go any faster if you put something on top of it?

UPDATE: With about seventeen minutes left until the thing he was waiting for so impatiently, he fell asleep on the floor.

…but some day Andy will probably be glad that I don’t. It’s not really necessary anyway, as I’m sure you can visualize:

“Hey mom! Did you know that Underwear Boy wears a utility belt?”

Andy apparently got a chess lesson at Discovery Club (before- and after-school care) today, although we did not enroll him in or pay for this optional enrichment activity. He was telling all about “chests” on the way home from kindergarten:

1. The king is lazy, but

2. the queen is powerful because she can move all over the board. Also she knows karate.

3. The guy in the castle is powerful too. He has jet packs on his castle.

Me: You need to brush all your teeth, honey, not just the ones in front.

Andy: But the ones in back are where the good sugar villains live.

Me: No, they don’t.

Andy: Oh yeah, right. I forgot. I forgot they have suction cups on their feet so they won’t be brushed away.