“This game is ‘non-baseball’. That is, it is a kind of baseball. It just doesn’t have any bases. And this can be the base!”

Andy: What are you guys drinking? Does it have caffeine or alcohol?

Jay: People aren’t allowed to drink alcohol in a car.

Me: It’s against the law.

Andy: I hope George Bush drinks alcohol in a car. Then he’ll be arrested!

Yesterday on the way from work to the bus stop I salvaged a foil balloon from the garbage for Andy. (In my defense, it was literally hovering above anything gross that might have been in there.) I carried it all the way to Andy’s daycare on the crowded bus because I thought he would like it. And he seemed to…until he hauled off and hit it with a pointy object, causing it to burst. It scared the heck out of both of us and caused poor Andy to cry uncontrollably for several minutes until he consoled himself with the prospect of “fixing it with tape” when we got home. The pointy object that caused all the trouble? A half-eaten pretzel.

We went to the Minnesota State Fair on Sunday. It was a weekend day with beautiful weather. Surprisingly, it was a little crowded.

But there was only one time when we almost lost Andy — though that was enough! He said he wanted to go down the giant slide by himself. We waited and waited at the bottom but didn’t see him come down. Eventually he reappeared at the bottom…without having slid down. He explained he’d been too scared to slide down alone. Jay went with him the next time.

Andy: What does “adequate” mean?

Me: Good enough.

Andy: You’re Adequate Girl.

Me: Gee, thanks.

Andy: What?

Me: “Adequate” isn’t exactly a compliment.  But at least you didn’t call me Inadequate Girl.

Andy: What does “inadequate” mean?

Me: Not good enough.

Andy: [Drops pretzel on sidewalk.] Aaah! [Stomping pretzel angrily] That’s inadequate!

Me: Did you change your mind and decide to walk home, or do you still want to take the bus?

Andy: I never change my mind. I’m Absolute Boy. Absolute Boy always says what he means.

Andy’s preschool held a graduation ceremony Thursday evening, although preschool continues through September 5. Beforehand, the teachers had made a list of what the kids plan to be when they grow up, which was read for the parents. Andy was the only kid with two answers: “During the week I’m going to be a scientist, and on weekends I’m going to be a sewer plumber.”

In case you can’t read what he’s holding up, it says “Pre-Kindergarten Certificate.”

Andy with his teacher, Ms. Angie.

The gym was decorated with some of the kids’ artwork. This was my favorite.

I got Andy some new Superman pajamas yesterday. They have a cape that velcros on, and the S logo on the front lights up. Naturally he slept in them last night. Cut to this morning…

Andy: Can I wear these to school today?

Me: No, honey. Remember, your school doesn’t allow superhero costumes?

Andy: But these are PJs. They do allow PJs.

Me: Not today.

Andy: But they told us to wear something nice today*!

*For the “graduation” ceremony this evening.

Andy: I’m Andy. A-N-D-Y.

Three[?]-year-old girl: Yep.

Andy: What’s your name?

Girl: [Unintelligible.]

Andy: This is Sarah. Jay’s coming to pick us up.

Girl: Yep. Bless his heart.

________________________

Six[?]-year-old-boy: I’m Captain Hook!

Andy: I’m Captain Hook!

Boy: No, I already said I’m Captain Hook.

Andy: OK. You can be the first Captain Hook. I’ll be the second Captain Hook. Hi, brother Captain Hook! I lost my book! I’m Captain Hook!

________________________

Andy [to the other Captain Hook]: It’s a good thing I’m wearing sneakers! [To me]: We’re being spies. So don’t look!

Andy: Look, there’s my ECFE school! I mean, it used to be.

Me: Yep, ’cause you graduated.

Andy: Why did I graduate?

Me: Because you got older and now you’re starting kindergarten in the fall.

Andy: Oh, yeah. But listen, I want you to have a baby sister so we can go back to ECFE.

Me: I gotta tell you, Andy, I’m not planning on having a baby sister for you.

Andy: But it doesn’t work like that. Baby sisters just…happen.

Me: How do you think they just happen?

Andy: You just get lucky. You’re just a lucky duck.