We were sitting ot the dinner table and having pizza and drinking water, Sarah ran out of water, so she snuck some of Andy’s.

[Andy]:  Hey! I did not say you you could have any water!

[Sarah]: Well, if you run out I will get you some more.

At this point Andy ran into the kitchen.

[Sarah]: Andy what are you doing?

[Jay]: Well you told him if he ran out you would get him some more water.

At that point Sarah realized what had happened, Andy thought that if he ran out of the room Sarah would get he more water.

Act One.

Setting: Sun room, interior. After school.

Sarah: … And so your dad and I talked and decided that there will be no WoW or other computer games for three days.

Andy: [Falls to knees, throws head down on couch.] Noooo! [Lifts head, fixes Sarah with an angry stare.] That is unacceptable. One day or two days is available, but three days is unavailable.

Act Two.

Setting: Sun room, interior. After dinner.

Sarah: Super-Dog, no! Down!

Andy: What’s he doing?

Sarah: He just ate the piece of cheese that was left on your plate.

Andy: No! Bad dog! That’s it, you are on probation for forty-one weeks! That means no pooping, no peeing, and no eating!

Sarah: He can’t eat for forty-one weeks?

Andy: He can’t eat for four weeks.

Sarah: He’ll die!

Andy: Okay, he can’t eat for one week. Seven days! [To Super-Dog:] And that means no petting, no tummy rubs, and no behind-the-ears scratching, period. Period. Exclamation point! Exclamation point! Exclamation point!

Act Three.

Setting: Bathroom, interior. Almost bedtime.

Andy: Sarah, I hate you…I hate you.

Sarah: I heard you the first time.

Andy: If I say ‘I hate you’ once, that means I’m being sarcastic. If I say ‘I hate you’ twice, that means I’m not being sarcastic. If I say ‘I hate you’ ten times, that means I’m serious. Sarah, count for me.

Sarah: No, if you’re going to tell me you hate me ten times, you have to count for yourself.

Andy: Okay. I hate you one, I hate you two, I hate you three, I hate you four, I hate you five, I hate you six, I hate you seven, I hate you eight, I hate you nine, I hate you ten. I hate you eleven.

Sarah: What does eleven mean?

Andy: It means I hate you.

Sarah: But if once means you’re being sarcastic, and twice means you’re not being sarcastic, and ten times means you’re serious, then what does eleven times mean.

Andy: Eleven times means I’m furious. Hey Sarah, do you want to play a rhyming game? Do serious and furious rhyme?

A kid from across the street has been shoveling for us this winter. His name is Andrew, he’s around fourteen, and he’s kind of shy and quiet.  He shoveled for us this weekend–we didn’t even have to ask him–and we didn’t even see him until I was waiting for Andy’s bus this afternoon and Andrew was coming home from school. I didn’t have cash, so I asked if he could stop by later to get paid.

He did, and we thanked him, and in his shy, quiet way he said we were welcome and tried to leave.

Andy: Hi Andrew! [He knew his name because we had mentioned the coincidence.] I’m Andy. Andrew Nikolai DeWitt Yates.

Andrew: Hi.

Andy: This is our dog, Super-Dog.

Super-Dog: [jumps up on poor Andrew as if on cue].

Andy: We just got him last week. Or a couple weeks ago.

Andrew: [tries to leave].

Andy [yelling after him]: He’s pretty protective! That’s why he barks so much! We named him Super-Dog!

Andy was wearing a necklace made out of yarn and a cut-out circle of construction paper when I met him at the bus stop this afternoon.

Me: Hey, what’s that?

Andy: It’s my medal.

Me: Cool! What’d you get a medal for?

Andy: Being good.

Me: Oh, great!

Andy: Yeah, I’m in sixth grade now. I flunked kindergarten. I got banished from kindergarten, so that’s why I had to go to fifth grade.

(Note: Andy later clarified the meaning of the medal: “It’s an electricity people coming badge.”)

Andy’s kindergarten class exchanged valentines last Friday. We went the convenient route with packaged Spongebob cards, but some of Andy’s classmates went all out. Here is my favorite of the valentines from one of Andy’s friends:

Notice who it’s addressed to:

As we were waiting for our dinner last night at Olive Garden,* Andy raised his (empty) wineglass and suggested, “Let’s all make a bread!”

*Shut up–we like it.

This is a picture we took of Andy at Rice Park during last year’s Winter Carnival.

And here he is in the same spot at this year’s Winter Carnival. We had a hard time talking him into posing again this year–he really didn’t want to sit next to Marcy once we told him she was a girl.

Andy’s superhero class met for the second time this morning. (It’s a community education thing, and I think they’re ultimately going to put on some kind of superhero play for the families.) His superhero: Poison Boy! As you might guess, Poison Boy can poison his enemies, but he also has other powers.

Poison Boy: I can shoot screws at bad guys!

Bad Guy [i.e., me]: Oh no!

Poison Boy: Yeah, I shoot them out of my butt!

Bad Guy: Eww! So they’re sharp and stinky?

Poison Boy: ["shoots screws" at me, luckily with his pants still up]

Bad Guy: Ew! The stench! The stench!

Poison Boy: That’s the stench of discovery.

I was keeping Andy company while he soaped up in the tub last night.

Andy [panicky]: Sarah, isn’t this Dove soap?

Me: Yes, it’s Dove.

Andy: Phew! I thought I saw an invisible layer of  scum on my arm!