Andy: Do they use actors to film Dora?

Me: Well, actors do the voices, but the pictures of Dora and the other characters are drawings.

Andy: What about the pictures of the animals?

Me: Those are drawings too.

Andy: Well, maybe they use shrunken animal corpses. And they revive them on paper and that’s how they film them.

Andy’s first words upon awaking this morning, and the words that awoke me, were: “What’s seventy-seven times five?”

“Hmm? What? Oh, I don’t know. What do you think?”

“Three hundred and eighty-five.”

I fell asleep again, and when I woke up I wasn’t sure if I had dreamed the exchange.  So I asked him, and he got the answer right again! I was so amazed at the mathematical genius in the family, but then I had to go to and ask him how he figured it out. His answer: “Oh, we have a calculator at S’More Fun.”

When I arrived at S’More Fun to pick him up, Andy was trying to convince some other kids that he’s a canibal.

Kid: You’re not a canibal. You’re a vegetarian. Humans are meat.

Andy: Well, we just started eating meat last week.

Kid: Being a canibal is against the law. You’d be in jail.

Andy: But if a policeman tries to arrest me, I can just eat him.

Kid: Yeah, but the police have handcuffs.

I eventually got him out the door, though not without him informing one of the counselors of his newfound canibalism.

Andy: Dylan, don’t freak out about what I’m about to tell you. Sarah, you be Dylan.

Me: Okay.

Andy: Don’t freak out about what I’m about to tell you. I’m a canibal.

Me: [Freaking out.]

Andy: But I don’t eat my friends! I don’t. Eat. My. Friends. I just turn them into canibals too.

“Dora” [i.e., Andy]: We have to get to S’More Fun camp! Who do we ask when we don’t know the way?

Me: The map! I’m the map, I’m the map…

Andy: You don’t have to sing.

Me: Which way do we go?

Dora: Waterfall, vampire lair, werewolf cave.

Me: Waterfall, vampire lair, werewolf cave.

Dora: We need to ask Backpack for the supplies we need. We need a wooden stake and a hammer to pound the stake into the vampires’ stomachs. And we need a potion to turn the werewolves into good guys. Oh, and guns, because we can just kill the vampires with guns. And…there are ghouls too, so we need an ax. Because the way you kill a ghoul is by chopping off its head.

Me: Do you think Backpack has all that stuff?

Andy: Backpack always has the things we need.

Andy and I were talking about his upcoming birthday party, and he mentioned his friend Dylan as one of the guests. I reminded him that Dylan can’t come because he will be in France then.

Andy: Let’s have the party in France then!

Me: I would love to! Unfortunately, it’s too expensive for us to go to France.

Andy: I’ll use my allowance.

Me: That wouldn’t be enough. It would probably cost…four thousand dollars for us to go to France. [I have no idea how close that really is.]

Andy: Then let’s trade in Super-Dog for a rich person. A rich person who has up to one million dollars!

Andy: If I was born two days after I learned to walk, then my birthday would be last month.

Me [after a pause to do the math]: That’s actually right*, Andy. How did you figure that out?

Andy:  Math. Ten plus two equals twelve. Don’t get me started–I can count up to two hundred.

*Andy started walking three days before his ten-month “birthday,” which means two days later would be May 30.

“Well, as the old saying goes, if you see something with a picture of a bat on it, you’d better not touch it because it’s Batman’s property. His symbol is a bat.”

Title: Batman and Owl Man Versus Red Beetle.

Synopsis: “Batman and Owl Man team up and they verse Red Beetle.”

Andy: Sarah, you be Homer and I’ll be Bart.

Me: Okay.

Andy: And you think it’s bad to lose your baby teeth.

Me: Okay.

“Homer”: Hi, Bart!

“Bart”: Hi! [Big smile.] Look at this!

Homer: Oh no!! Your tooth fell out! That’s terrible!

Bart: Wrong! Homer, baby teeth are supposed to fall out. Don’t you remember when you were a kid, your teeth fell out?

Homer: Really?

Bart: Yeah. And then a new one will grow there. Called a permanent tooth.

Homer: Phew.

Bart: Uh-huh. But if one of your adult teeth falls out…uh-uh. Bad idea.

Homer:…

Bart: But the tooth fairy might come anyway.

I thought it would be fun to take Andy to the beach today to celebrate the beginning of summer. And although bringing the dog along was a mistake, it was fun…for a while. I’d say it was fun right up until the time I had to walk into the water–fully clothed, and with the dog–to get Andy out. But on the up side, we did learn that Super-Dog can swim.