Wolverine (Andy)  and the devil (Dylan) at the school’s Carnaval des Citrouilles.

There was a haunted house at the Carnaval, which Andy went through once by himself and then once again with me. The first person we saw there was a mad scientist who tried to get people to trade their eye for a mouse. But Andy knew what was coming by the time he went through with me, so he said to the scientist: “Don’t try to freak out my mom, because she is scared of mice!”

Anti-Wolverine at school on the Friday before Halloween.

The green hair is what makes him Anti-Wolverine (I think).

Friday night’s costume: Clean Boy. (Okay, not really a costume, and I made up the name, but isn’t this a cute picture?)

Trick-or-treating costume: Skull Boy. Wonder what powers Skull Boy has? “All the skull brand powers. Skull claws, skull lasers…”

Skull Boy and Zombie (not the Joker!).

Skull Boy with skull mask and skull claws.  These did not stay on long during trick-or-treating.

Andy chatted with most of the neighbors who handed out candy, as usual. This year’s oft-repeated comment was: “I’m stocking up a lifetime supply of candy!”

The background information you need to know before reading this exchange is that Andy claims to be from Mars…like, all the time. Oh, and it might be helpful to know that we drove him to school and walked him to his classroom yesterday.

Andy: Can I have a Sprite?

Me: No.

Andy: Why not?

Me: Because you’re going to have a lot of candy tonight, so you don’t need any extra sugar from pop.

Andy: Well, when you left yesterday, Mlle Geimer was trying to tell you that we were taking a field trip to a doctor. And the doctor said that martians need ten pounds of candy.

We went to Olive Garden on Wednesday, Andy wanted to play I spy game.

Andy: I spy with my little eye something that starts with S.
Jay: Shoe
Andy: no
Sarah: Shirt
Andy: Nope
Sarah: Straw
Andy: Nope
Sarah: Speaker
Andy: Nope
Jay: soup
Andy: no
Sarah: seat
Andy: nope
Sarah/Jay: we give up
Andy: Laughing–SARAH

We could not believe we did not guess that.
As Homer would say, DO’H

“Attention! Attention! This is the most dangerous situation! At school, there are girls who kiss boys! So if there are any boys listening to this radio announcement, who go to the French immersion school, L’étoile du nord…at recess there are girls who kiss boys!”

Jerry: Once upon a time there was a monster…

Tom: …who lived in a swamp.

Jerry: And he had a…

Tom: Purple hat, that had seaweed all over it from the swamp.

Jerry: No, I mean a weapon.

Tom: Oh. He had a slingshot.

Jerry: That’s not very scary. How about a rifle?

Tom: Oh, no. Then the story might be too scary for me.

Jerry: Cats don’t get scared.

Tom: Sure we do. Where do you think the expression scaredy cat comes from?

Jerry: Tom! It’s just a story.

Tom: Okay, fine. He had a rifle.

Jerry: And the rifle had one thousand bullets.

Tom: And he pointed the rifle at…

Jerry: …a human tree.

Tom: But the human tree said, “Wait! Don’t waste a bullet on me! There are one thousand zombies, so if you use one bullet for each zombie, you can kill them all.

Jerry: So he killed all the zombies, and the town lived happily ever after. And he was mayor for one year.

Tom: The end.

Me (upon walking into the bedroom): Oh my gosh! Where’s Andy?

Andy (popping out from under the blanket): Boo!

Me: Ahh!

Andy: That’s my latest pun. Remember, that’s the joke I always used to do.

Me: I remember.

Andy: Ah, good times, good times.

“I invented the first non-expiring milk. It’s milk and water mixed together…This is really pleasant-smelling non-expiring milk. It smells kind of like chlorine…Guard my ultra-rare combinated water. I mean milk.”

Andy: I’m not talking to you ever again, starting right now!

[A few seconds pass.]

Andy: So don’t you even bother trying to talk to me.

[A couple more seconds.]

Andy: Can you scoot over?

[A few minutes of silence.]

Andy: Hey, Sarah, how can the headless horseman see?

Me: He can’t.

[A several-minute conversation ensues.]

Andy: Me not talking to you starts now!

“Like my mini-house? It’s where I escape for solitude during the day.”

Andy: Knock knock.

Jay: Who’s there?

Andy: Monster.

Jay: Monster who?

Andy: Monster I ate off your head!

[Laughter]

Andy: That’s my Halloween knock-knock joke.

Jay: Here’s one. Knock knock.

Andy: Who’s there?

Jay: Banana.

Andy: Banana who?

Jay:  Knock knock.

Andy: Who’s there?

Jay: Banana.

[...]

Jay: Orange you glad I didn’t say “banana”?

[Laughter]

Jay: I’ve known that one since I was your age.

Me: Yeah, that one’s a classic.

[Andy repeats the exact same joke, only with an extra round of "banana."]

[Laughter, mostly faked]

Andy: Yeah, that’s one of my old classics. I made up that joke when I was a baby. Knock knock.

Jay: Who’s there?

Andy: Tree.

Jay: Tree who?

Andy: Knock knock.

Jay: Who’s there?

Andy: Tree.

[...]

Andy: Knock knock.

Jay: Who’s there?

Andy: Car.

Jay: Car who?

Andy: Car you’re glad I didn’t say “tree”!