Andy: How many arms does Vishnu have?

Jay: Um, six?

Me: That sounds about right.

Andy: Well, if you’re not sure, you could look it up on vishnubodyparts.com.

Jay and I were walking home from the park yesterday, while Andy was running ahead of us.

Jay: Hey, Andy, quack like a duck.

[Andy stops, flaps his arms, and quacks.]

Jay: No, while you’re running.

[Andy runs while flapping and quacking. Jay laughs. Andy stops and turns, hands on hips.]

Andy: Are you using me for humor!?

Jay: Yeah.

Andy: Eh, whatever. [Resumes running, flapping, and quacking.] [To neighbor sitting on his front porch]: He told me to do it. He’s using me for entertainment.

Andy was making a beach in the living room, with a blue blanket for the water.

Andy: This has 90 percent more swimability. This is as big as the ocean. There could be thirty or forty clams here. Do clams exist?

Me: Yep.

Andy: Oh. I thought they were a myth.

While we were eating dinner, something in the kitchen fell and Super-Dog started barking.

Andy: Super-Dog!

Jay: He’s just protecting us.

Me: I remember what Rasputin used to do during thunderstorms. Some dogs get scared and hide, and some dogs bark, but Rasputin didn’t do that. He just went on patrol.

Andy: He went on patrol?

Me: Yep. He walked around the house and looked in every room, and he just kept patrolling the house until the storm was over.

Andy: What did he do when he found a monster?

Andy: Look at this huge number! [Shows me calculator that says 1.77777777.] What number is this, anyway?

Me: That number’s not actually that big because of the decimal point.

Andy: What’s a decimal point?

Me: It means the number after it is a decimal. It’s like a decimal or a fraction or a percentage…

Andy: And I’m bored.

I was scratching Andy’s back.

Andy: It really itches. Is there a bump?

Me: Hmm…yeah, there’s a tiny one back here.

Andy: Scratch really hard. I want you to scratchliminate it.