A Nailbitingly Divine Yodeller

Andy [Tuesday]: My only goals in life are to be a billionaire and to be an author.

Andy [Wednesday]: My lifelong dream is to be a main character.

Andy has started a dream journal. Yesterday he drew a picture in it of the previous night’s dream.

This morning he got out of bed and paused to look at the dream journal before going to the bathroom. “I don’t think I had any dreams last night that are suitable for publication,” he said. “I dreamt repeats last night. Sometimes my brain is lazy and I dream repeats.”

Andy: Hey, Sarah. I had a dream where my traits were amberist kleptomaniac.

Me: Your traits were what?

Andy: Amberist kleptomaniac.

Me: Oh my.

Andy: What does amberist mean?

Me: I was hoping you could tell me.

Andy: What’s that thing where you’re willing to kill a king or queen?

Me: You mean regicidal?

Andy: Yeah. I was a regicidal kleptomaniac.

Me: My goodness.

Andy: Yeah. And I was actually regiciding.

Me: You were actually committing regicide?

Andy: Sarah. He had explosives. I had to protect the United States somehow.

The first thing Andy said to me this morning (well, second, after “Are you awake?”): Sarah, can I fulfill one of my life-long dreams by turning our house into a sixty-story hotel?

“My nightmares always have happy endings. They always end where there’s a freak volcano accident that gives me super powers so I can defeat any monster, villain, or evildoer.”

Andy: Last night I had a dream about a jelly roll. And it was rolling away, and I was trying to catch it and eat it, and I couldn’t catch it.

Me: Was that frustrating?

Andy: No, ask ‘How did that make you feel?’

Me: How did that make you feel?

Andy: Hungry!

P.S. I just realized why this struck me as slightly familiar when he said it: I think he was repeating a dialog from Arthur.

Andy was home with Jay for the day and he came in with this monster and told Jay that this was a monster from his dream